This morning I got the call I've been waiting for.... I have a second interview with the TV Network on Thursday! I don't know exactly how many other people I'm up against, but I know my agency sent through three candidates, and they want only two back for the second round. So this is good news, but I think I'm more nervous than excited this time. So many close calls.... will this finally be my time? I really hope so.
I just had a cackling fit sitting here at my desk, thinking about the guards at Windsor Castle on
Sunday. They are Shoes' and my new favourite things. They march around in teams of 4, dressed in their impossibly old-fashioned grey coats with their pirate-ship hats, and they have little tappers on the heels of their shoes so their clickety-clacks echo through the grounds. We followed them around for a while; it seems people can't help but do this. The majority of visitors turn into giggling monkeys when they come into contact with the guards, marching along behind them and imitating their swinging-arm strides, or attempting to distract them from their business of looking solemn and important. It was quite funny watching human beings treat them as if they were some exotic (and clearly not very well respected) animals in a zoo - ourselves included. Shoes and I were in fits of giggles as we trailed them with our camera, taking video footage of their sweaty, pained looking faces and the Japanese tourists shoving cameras in them.
We were trying to figure out how they know when their shift is over. They're not allowed to look at their watches, or indeed anywhere except straight ahead, so we decided they must have learnt to tell the time by the sun. Imagine that.... you need a piss so incredibly badly, but you can't go and you have no idea how many hours of marching you have left to do before you can relieve yourself. My guess is that they sign up for the job expecting a bit of prestige and perhaps to meet Her Madge the Queen, and spend the rest of their years thinking up terrorist plots to eradicate all tourists.
I just had a cackling fit sitting here at my desk, thinking about the guards at Windsor Castle on
Sunday. They are Shoes' and my new favourite things. They march around in teams of 4, dressed in their impossibly old-fashioned grey coats with their pirate-ship hats, and they have little tappers on the heels of their shoes so their clickety-clacks echo through the grounds. We followed them around for a while; it seems people can't help but do this. The majority of visitors turn into giggling monkeys when they come into contact with the guards, marching along behind them and imitating their swinging-arm strides, or attempting to distract them from their business of looking solemn and important. It was quite funny watching human beings treat them as if they were some exotic (and clearly not very well respected) animals in a zoo - ourselves included. Shoes and I were in fits of giggles as we trailed them with our camera, taking video footage of their sweaty, pained looking faces and the Japanese tourists shoving cameras in them.We were trying to figure out how they know when their shift is over. They're not allowed to look at their watches, or indeed anywhere except straight ahead, so we decided they must have learnt to tell the time by the sun. Imagine that.... you need a piss so incredibly badly, but you can't go and you have no idea how many hours of marching you have left to do before you can relieve yourself. My guess is that they sign up for the job expecting a bit of prestige and perhaps to meet Her Madge the Queen, and spend the rest of their years thinking up terrorist plots to eradicate all tourists.
6 comments:
Yay for the 2nd interview you've got lined up. You no doubt deserve it in spades :)
Will be holding thumbs, fingers and toes that this turns out to be the one that turns your life around!
Thanks Philly, your support is much appreciated ;-) I really hope this is it!
Firstly, congrats on the call back! I’ll be holding thumbs…
And secondly – do you think that after an entire working day of staring forward looking solemn and serious, the guards of Windsor Castle get home dying to talk and jump around like lunatics? And do you think they’re taught how to stifle sneezes and yawns?
Thanks MsMozi! And yes, I definitely think so...they probably don't shut up at all when they get home, and I rate they piss off everyone with their hypermania.
I don't know about sneezes or yawns, but when we got there, we saw one had his shoelace undone, and when we left 2 hours later, it was STILL undone! Super strict hey.
Oh you guys have no idea ... I used to live in Windsor and shagged my way round the army, it was great fun. They're not allowed to acknowledge anyone at all when on duty so a lot of people try flashing them etc to get a reaction. It is hysterical. They are all complete loons though. They stay in the castle for their shift, there is a guard room sort of above that square where they are mostly posted - all bunk beds and big screen tv's etc.
I don't know about the peeing thing but I can tell you one thing - those guns they hold weigh a fucking ton!!
Pahahaha, I am imagining you charming your way through the army - nice work!
How long is a shift? do they get really bored?
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