What a feeling, being's believing, I can have it all now I'm dancing for my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife......
Yes, I really am singing one of the 80's most definitive songs - under my breath obviously, as I don't want to drive my colleagues to raiding the team drinks cupboard. If I was at home in my room I would be flinging myself around in a dangerous imitation of Jennifer Beals as she wows the judges with her kind of cheesy, disturbingly aerobics-like dancing, after heroically picking herself up from that fall that was the lamest excuse for a stumble I have ever seen. I mean, they could have at least had her trip convincingly to make up for the, ahem, acting. Before you go all "yes but she's an icon" on me, I'm not hating on Flashdance - in fact, I adore Flashdance, and pretty much every other dancing flick ever made. Yes, even Make It Happen, and good lord that was a bad one. Never heard of it? There's a reason for that - don't look it up.
Flashdance is merely a teaser, just the tip of the iceberg of this mini 80's revival I am having at my desk. The 80's are officially back people! Now, I know the 80's have technically been back for a while, as evidenced by the reformation of Depeche Mode and NKOTB, and the startling recent trend amongst celebs to overdo the blue eyeshadow and pouffy back combs (Olsen twins anyone?). Thundercats has been re-released on dvd to a storming reception, and Jason Donovan is suddenly in great demand again. But there has been one thing missing that didn't just represent the 80's, it WAS the 80's in all it's glorious kitschness: NEON.
I was at River Island the other day exchanging a pair of jeans, and one half of the store consisted entirely of neon clothing. Among the trademark racks of "distressed" denim (insert said denim's feeble cry for help here...am I the only one who imagines this?) was row upon row of lumo pink leggings, safety-marshall yellow jackets and dresses in greens so bright I was temporarily blinded, and had to peer at my surroundings as if through those nifty night vision goggles they use in spy movies. In a frenzy, I grabbed an armload of pretty much every luminous item in my size and rushed to the changing rooms, head spinning with the palette of colours I hadn't seen since we used to wear 4 rolly socks at once so our feet would look like they wore neon anklets. Imagine the thrill I felt shrugging into a neon orange t-shirt WITH A PRINT OF A LADY IN A HAT on the front (all the greatest 80's prints had ladies in hats).
My joy was slightly tempered when I realised that orange, having never been my colour, is still not my colour and is possibly even less so when it comes in an incandescent hue. Similarly, the yellow made me look like I was about to vomit on the changing room floor, and the pink, while not as awful, was a slightly salmony neon, and so gave me the appearance of a rather pallid fish with scales in all the wrong places (read: it accentuates curves that shouldn't be accentuated). To my relief, I found the lumo green dress looked pretty good, until I heard a commotion outside my cubicle and poked my head out to find a mother wrestling with a little girl of about 5, who was wearing a dress in exactly the same shade.
It left me with a nostalgic feeling for the days of my early childhood, when listening to Paula Abdul was cool and all the girls wore tommie takkies with their zebra print skirts. More about that tomorrow. It also left me with the distinct impression, though, that this summer we are going to see a great many jaundiced looking women walking the streets of London in their lumo gear, cracking gum with their mouths open and tossing their hair metal band coiffes in a tribute to good old days. I myself have learnt my lesson from those 5 minutes spent in River Island's changing room, and will leave the past safely in the past. I swear on my rolly socks.
Flashdance is merely a teaser, just the tip of the iceberg of this mini 80's revival I am having at my desk. The 80's are officially back people! Now, I know the 80's have technically been back for a while, as evidenced by the reformation of Depeche Mode and NKOTB, and the startling recent trend amongst celebs to overdo the blue eyeshadow and pouffy back combs (Olsen twins anyone?). Thundercats has been re-released on dvd to a storming reception, and Jason Donovan is suddenly in great demand again. But there has been one thing missing that didn't just represent the 80's, it WAS the 80's in all it's glorious kitschness: NEON.
I was at River Island the other day exchanging a pair of jeans, and one half of the store consisted entirely of neon clothing. Among the trademark racks of "distressed" denim (insert said denim's feeble cry for help here...am I the only one who imagines this?) was row upon row of lumo pink leggings, safety-marshall yellow jackets and dresses in greens so bright I was temporarily blinded, and had to peer at my surroundings as if through those nifty night vision goggles they use in spy movies. In a frenzy, I grabbed an armload of pretty much every luminous item in my size and rushed to the changing rooms, head spinning with the palette of colours I hadn't seen since we used to wear 4 rolly socks at once so our feet would look like they wore neon anklets. Imagine the thrill I felt shrugging into a neon orange t-shirt WITH A PRINT OF A LADY IN A HAT on the front (all the greatest 80's prints had ladies in hats).
My joy was slightly tempered when I realised that orange, having never been my colour, is still not my colour and is possibly even less so when it comes in an incandescent hue. Similarly, the yellow made me look like I was about to vomit on the changing room floor, and the pink, while not as awful, was a slightly salmony neon, and so gave me the appearance of a rather pallid fish with scales in all the wrong places (read: it accentuates curves that shouldn't be accentuated). To my relief, I found the lumo green dress looked pretty good, until I heard a commotion outside my cubicle and poked my head out to find a mother wrestling with a little girl of about 5, who was wearing a dress in exactly the same shade.
It left me with a nostalgic feeling for the days of my early childhood, when listening to Paula Abdul was cool and all the girls wore tommie takkies with their zebra print skirts. More about that tomorrow. It also left me with the distinct impression, though, that this summer we are going to see a great many jaundiced looking women walking the streets of London in their lumo gear, cracking gum with their mouths open and tossing their hair metal band coiffes in a tribute to good old days. I myself have learnt my lesson from those 5 minutes spent in River Island's changing room, and will leave the past safely in the past. I swear on my rolly socks.
6 comments:
Wahahahhahhahahaha!
We have to go back and try on that dress and match it with those other wet look leggings.
Dude, the 80's are back.
When you're home let's get dolled up in 80's gear and paint the town red.
Oh god.
Noooooooooooooooooo
I don't mind the music revival, but not the roly socks and the neon!!!!!
However, I would love to get my hands on a Thundercats dvd. Awesome.
lopz... out of anyone I know, only YOU can pull of neon colours :) seriously. Ps. Fish's sister gave me some hideous neon blue eyeshadow from Christmas (which I lent to Mazzles for her 80's theme staff party)... now I realise, that maybe it was really hip, happening present! see you tomorrow! EEEEI!
Lol! Yeah, the 80's. The time of wird hair, although the Emo kids is right up there.
Can I just say that this was one era I sorely be repeated!!!
I meant to say "sorely hoped would not be repeated"
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