Monday 29 September 2008

Communication Science 101

Three PAs sit in a haphazard row opposite our CEO's office: myself, Sammy and K. This situation occurred this afternoon at precisely 12:27pm:

Sammy: Lopz, don't you have the 8th floor booked for Client Development Manager's meeting with (Major TV Company) at 12:30?

Lopz: Yes, why?

Sammy: Oh, well, Group Strategy Director is in there now with Senior Management, and he'll be in there til 2 o' clock.

Sound of silence as ticking heart suddenly stops beating.

Lopz: Er....but....er.... (usually excellent English reduced to stutters of terror)

Sammy: Did you book the room?

Lopz: Er....yes...er (eyes are saying FUCK! but mouth cannot engage)

Sammy: You better check with K what's going on!

Lopz: (turning to K with a mouthful of bitter trepidation) K, does Group Strategy Director have a meeting on the 8th floor now?

K: Yes.

Lopz: So it's not booked out for Client Development Manager?

K: No.

Lopz: (speechless at visions of 20 suits down in reception tapping their watches and frowning)

In a blind panic, I drop what I'm doing and rush around the corner to Client Development. I'm already running through a list of Plan B's in my head - none of them adequate.

Can we take the execs to the canteen? Maybe we can give them bacon butties to smooth over the situation, while I get IT to hang up a sheet in lieu of a big screen on the canteen wall. What about goodie bags? I'm sure I can get Marketing to whip some up..... we'll even throw in some branded pens. Or maybe.... we can say we're going green this week, and take them down to Leicester Square to do an open air presentation, complete with paper handouts. Surely Engineering have a microphone cord long enough to stretch for several blocks?

I run smack bang into Client Development Manager.

Lopz: ClientdevelopmentmanagertheroomisbookedandIdon'tknowhowthishappenedI'msosorry
whatarewegoingtodo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Client Development Manager: What?

Lopz: TheroomisbookedandIdon'tknowhowthishappened -

Client Development Manager: (interrupting) Lopz! Slow down! I can't understand you.

Lopz: (deep breath) The room is booked - 8th floor is booked! Someone's in there! And (Major TV Company) is in reception and we have nowhere to take them! I don't know how this happened, I booked that room for you.... I'm so sorry, this is all my fault!

Client Development Manager: Oh, didn't I tell you? That meeting has been cancelled. I told K on Friday and she released the room for me.

Lopz: (shoots daggers from eyes)

Why don't people TELL me things?!??!!??!

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh my, Lopz, what a funny post! I was panicking for you, thinking the "Going Green" idea could've worked, could've been quite novel...phew!

po said...

Harsh! All that stress for nothing. Well you are certainly resourceful!

phillygirl said...

Eep, I would've been so annoyed by that ... and K let you run around in a panic. But I must say your Plan B's were all quite impressive for on-the-spot thinking ;)

Janine / Being Brazen said...

Im a PA at the moment too - so i really feel your pain. Ive totally had stuff happen to me like that...

Highly amusing post though :)

Lopz said...

@Kitty - yeah, I thought that idea might have flown! Plus, yesterday was really good weather.... I wonder if I could have pulled it off?

@Po - thanks! Luckily I didn't actually have to test how resourceful...

@philly - I know! She could have mentioned to me that she released the room. Bitch!

@Brazen - thank you, and may I just say a big Up Yours from all PAs to people who do not bother to communicate. Humph.

The Divine Miss M said...

For moments like that Lopz.

For moments like that.

AngelConradie said...

oh MY god... why didn't k tell you he cancelled it himself?!!?! do they like to watch you hyperventilate!?!!!???