Yesterday I was having trouble paying my tv license online. For some reason, I couldn't get past the first page where I had to fill in my license details. I wasn't too concerned - I have rather strange restrictions on my work pc. While I can go on facebook, gmail and pretty much any porn site I like all day (the porn came up when I was searching for pics of gay men - long story, honest!), I often can't comment on blogs or sometimes even get into my own to post.
So I did what any co-dependent would do - I forwarded the details on to my housemates and asked them to pay it.
Shoes was first to respond. He filled in the online form, including his bank details, only to be told at the end that as the license only expired end of May, it could not be renewed until 1 May. It seemed reasonable enough to us. So imagine our surprise this afternoon when Shoes checked his bank account and found that £142.50 (yes, you get done dry for tv over here) had been deducted by the tv license people. Again, this was not initially a cause for alarm. All I needed was an e-mail copy of the license, and we could forget about it for another year.
Imagine my bewilderment then, when the following conversation took place just half an hour ago:
Lopz: Hi there, I'm calling about a situation with my tv license, blah blah, error message, blah blah, money taken off, rhubarb rhubarb, need e-mail copy please.
TV License Call Centre Employee: Aaaah. Yes ma'm, I'm afraid it's not possible to e-mail you a copy of your license.
Lopz: *sensing Stupid People Situation about to commence* Really? Could you maybe perhaps tell me why that could be?
TVLCCE: Well, we cannot send you a new license until the beginning of the month in which your current license expires.
Lopz: Yes, and I would believe you if you hadn't already filched my money after your website said you couldn't take it. Strange that, isn't it?
TVLCCE: Yes ma'm, I do apologise, it must have been a glitch in our systems.
Lopz: *sensing business opportunity with systems designed to steal unsuspecting customers' money* Wow, what clever systems you have. So just to clarify, you have now taken my money, but you are refusing to give me a license. How are we going to work this one out?
TVLCCE: We will refund your money to you ma'm. Please give us until Friday and keep checking your account. If you have not been issued with a refund by Friday, please call us and we will take necessary action.
Lopz: I have a much better idea. Why don't you wait two days until it is May 1st, and then e-mail me my license? Otherwise I'll have to do all this again on Friday. It's so much less admin for both of us.
TVLCCE: I'm afraid that's impossible ma'm. Our systems do not work that way.
Lopz: So you are seriously going to refund my money, make me wait roughly 36 hours and then force me to go through the process again? I'm giving you an out - I'll ignore protocol until Friday when you can just press send on that little e-mail. Don't tell me you don't see the reason in this.
TVLCCE: I think it is perfectly reasonable, ma'm, but it does not work that way. I'm sorry, this is the procedure we will have to adhere to.
Lopz: *resigning herself to the inevitable* Fine. Fine. Just get that refund through by Friday or I'm charging you interest.
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4 comments:
ba ha ha!!! gotta miss the SABC ;) x
Ooh, ooh, what was the outcome of this? It took me about three years to get the SABC to cancel my licence... "No, i don't have a TV; why would i want to renew my licence i cancelled last year?"
Luckily for me, they saw reason when I phoned back 2 days later, and they've posted my license to me. It could have been so different tho - I was getting ready to write SPS #797!!!
HO.LY.CRAP.
Seriously.
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