How strange - this morning I've come a little later that usual into the office, and there is almost no-one here. Immediately I want to do things I'm not supposed to do.... not that I don't do them anyway, but my pleasure in browsing on Ebay or reading my daily tabs increases exponentially when there's no likelihood of getting caught.
I've really been struggling to sleep the last few nights, and I feel tired all the time. After 7 years together, Shoes and I seem to have reached a stalemate in our sleeping pattern to which neither of us can see an end. The problem lies in that I am naturally a very light sleeper, while he could sleep through an atomic bomb provided he was already passed out when it hit. When we first met, he was living with his best friend, and neither or them could sleep unless the radio was on. In addition, noise from house appliances, dripping taps and ticking clocks presented no problems for them at all, while for me they still represent a slow and painful torture.
I need total silence and total darkness in order to fall asleep, and then the same to stay that way, preferably with a constant temperature. I imagine I was one of those babies who fought tooth and nail upon leaving the womb.
Recently, Shoes has begun to snore. Not big, chainsaw-like growls, but gentle, nasal breathing which starts off as a deep sigh and progresses to a slight whistle at the end. Both of us are guilty of chainsaw snoring when pissed, and I've always been able to tell how tired Shoes is by his breathing pattern. When he's getting enough sleep, he's quiet and when he's fatigued, he snores. Now though, he's snoring with increased regularity for no apparent reason.
My nights have begun to go like this:
11:00pm - Shoes and I get into bed.
11:20pm - We finally stop talking/fighting over pillows/getting up to tend to things we've forgotten, such as setting the alarm.
11:27pm - Shoes' breathing deepens. I lie awake listening to annoying songs playing in my head.
11:31pm - Shoes is clearly asleep. I contemplate how long it will take me to fall asleep tonight, while listening out for the first snore.
11:32pm - The first snore cuts through the silence.
11:33pm - I kick Shoes.
11:34pm - Shoes rolls over and groans. Silence ensues.
11:36pm - Shoes lets out another contented snore.
11:37pm - I turn over and glare ferociously at his back.
11:38pm - Shoes asks me to please stop glaring at him, as he's trying to be quiet and it's not his fault if he snores (yes, he really can sense my ire with his back to me).
11:40pm - Another snore pierces the tension in the air.
11:41pm - Followed by another.
11:42pm - I get up to go the loo, and make as much noise as I possibly can.
11:43pm - I come back, and all is quiet. I get back into bed.
11:46pm - A fresh snore breaks out.
11:47pm - I grab my pillows and the extra blanket and exit the room in a huff.
11:49pm - I make a bed on the couch and settle down to sleep.
11:51pm - The tap drips.
11:53pm - The freezer motor turns on.
11:59pm - I get up to fetch a glass of water to cool my mouth, which is dry with rage and exhaustion.
12:00am - I get back onto the couch.
12:20am - I wake with a start; I am trying to turn over on the couch, but there is no space and I nearly smother myself with a pillow. I turn back to the position I started in.
12:35am - I am just drifting off to sleep. Aaaaaah.....
12:36am - The chavs across the block start shouting.
12:37am - I get up to close the door all the way.
12:57am - I wake up, covered from head to toe in sweat from the heat building up in the airless lounge.
01:01am - I give up, collect my pillows and go back to the bedroom.
01:02am - Shoes in sleeping soundly in complete silence.
01:03am - I get back into bed and wait a further half hour for my body to relax from the night's events before I finally fall asleep.
No wonder I'm a little cranky before my coffee!
I've really been struggling to sleep the last few nights, and I feel tired all the time. After 7 years together, Shoes and I seem to have reached a stalemate in our sleeping pattern to which neither of us can see an end. The problem lies in that I am naturally a very light sleeper, while he could sleep through an atomic bomb provided he was already passed out when it hit. When we first met, he was living with his best friend, and neither or them could sleep unless the radio was on. In addition, noise from house appliances, dripping taps and ticking clocks presented no problems for them at all, while for me they still represent a slow and painful torture.
I need total silence and total darkness in order to fall asleep, and then the same to stay that way, preferably with a constant temperature. I imagine I was one of those babies who fought tooth and nail upon leaving the womb.
Recently, Shoes has begun to snore. Not big, chainsaw-like growls, but gentle, nasal breathing which starts off as a deep sigh and progresses to a slight whistle at the end. Both of us are guilty of chainsaw snoring when pissed, and I've always been able to tell how tired Shoes is by his breathing pattern. When he's getting enough sleep, he's quiet and when he's fatigued, he snores. Now though, he's snoring with increased regularity for no apparent reason.
My nights have begun to go like this:
11:00pm - Shoes and I get into bed.
11:20pm - We finally stop talking/fighting over pillows/getting up to tend to things we've forgotten, such as setting the alarm.
11:27pm - Shoes' breathing deepens. I lie awake listening to annoying songs playing in my head.
11:31pm - Shoes is clearly asleep. I contemplate how long it will take me to fall asleep tonight, while listening out for the first snore.
11:32pm - The first snore cuts through the silence.
11:33pm - I kick Shoes.
11:34pm - Shoes rolls over and groans. Silence ensues.
11:36pm - Shoes lets out another contented snore.
11:37pm - I turn over and glare ferociously at his back.
11:38pm - Shoes asks me to please stop glaring at him, as he's trying to be quiet and it's not his fault if he snores (yes, he really can sense my ire with his back to me).
11:40pm - Another snore pierces the tension in the air.
11:41pm - Followed by another.
11:42pm - I get up to go the loo, and make as much noise as I possibly can.
11:43pm - I come back, and all is quiet. I get back into bed.
11:46pm - A fresh snore breaks out.
11:47pm - I grab my pillows and the extra blanket and exit the room in a huff.
11:49pm - I make a bed on the couch and settle down to sleep.
11:51pm - The tap drips.
11:53pm - The freezer motor turns on.
11:59pm - I get up to fetch a glass of water to cool my mouth, which is dry with rage and exhaustion.
12:00am - I get back onto the couch.
12:20am - I wake with a start; I am trying to turn over on the couch, but there is no space and I nearly smother myself with a pillow. I turn back to the position I started in.
12:35am - I am just drifting off to sleep. Aaaaaah.....
12:36am - The chavs across the block start shouting.
12:37am - I get up to close the door all the way.
12:57am - I wake up, covered from head to toe in sweat from the heat building up in the airless lounge.
01:01am - I give up, collect my pillows and go back to the bedroom.
01:02am - Shoes in sleeping soundly in complete silence.
01:03am - I get back into bed and wait a further half hour for my body to relax from the night's events before I finally fall asleep.
No wonder I'm a little cranky before my coffee!
17 comments:
"...progresses to a slight whistle at the end..." i love that...teehee...!!!
i'm so glad to see that you will come back home in a few years, SA rocks!!!
oh definitely, I ADORE South Africa, and I could never call anywhere but Cape Town home. I'll jabber on about it to anyone over here who will listen :-) Just need to hoard some pounds first, and then I'll be kissing the ground at CT International.
I can completely visualise that entire scenario playing out! Just hope he doesn’t develop any further problematic sleeping habits, like stealing the blanket or sleep talking – the latter being one of the worst because when one of my exs did it I would lie awake trying to decipher the incoherent mumblings and grumblings he was sprouting forth.
I would very nervous of sleep talking in front of a boyfriend, the potential for disaster is massive! You must have some interesting stories...
He already steals the blanket, but I have a trick... I steal it back, give him a pillow to lull him into a false sense of security and wrap the blanket around my feet to prevent further theft, works like a charm.
It's either that or seperate rooms, but that smacks of olden day women for whom sex was merely a method of reproduction, and otherwise was something to be abhorred and endured. I guess we might just have to stick with kicking them - hard.
Oi Lopz....that was like reading about my own life...minus a boyfriend, unfortunately! Earplugs? They're as uncomfortable as hell but I'm told one can become used to them.
Dear woman, you have my sympathy. My ex bf snored so much I eventually broke up with him!
earplugs are the way to go. I have a pair and make very good use of them. ;)
@ Don't believe a word & Miss M - I have some of those cheap boots brand ear plugs, and the strangest thing is that they seem to block every other noise except the snores! You could pull out my ear drums with pliers and I would still hear them.
@ Shebee - did you actually tell him you were breaking up with him because he snored?
Miss M, how long did it take you to stop freaking out at hearing how loud your breathing sounds when your ears are blocked with earplugs? :-)
Lopz, there's a lot of money to be made for someone who can design comfortable, effective earplugs. An as-yet untapped market!!
Maybe not separate rooms – just separate beds with one of those limo-style dividers that goes up at the push of a button. It’s perfect – you can push twin beds together for shenanigans and then pull them apart and flip the switch for sleep time
@ Don't believe a word - you're so right, although aren't wax earplugs supposed to be pretty comfortable? I haven't tried them; just imagining the slurping sensation of the wax expanding to fit the ear canal is enough to put me off.
@ Ms Mozi - I like your thinking! You should patent that idea :-)
@Don['t believe a word - a while, I still get freaked out sometimes, I forget where I am. Plus your hair scratching against them also makes the strangest noise! I use the foam ones though ... the wax ones are horrid
@lopz - I agree, snoring is the worst thing ever! Thankfully my housemate snores but I can't hear through the walls. My other housemate's room is directly below and he can hear her which apparently is bad. Yes you read correctly, HE can hear HER!
Actually, yes I did.
he was bummed but got over it.
No other reasons? Just the snoring? That's classic! He couldn't have been that fabulous though, cos I think true love could survive snoring ;-)
true love it definately is not.
was*
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