Second Time Around

As I am paranoid about anything relating to me and travelling and visas, I have second guessed my decision to write this post. I am unnaturally superstitious about giving voice to the worst case scenario in case it comes true (see the list of posts on the RHS of this page if you don't know what I am talking about). However, if the worst case scenario does indeed come to pass, I am going to need to use this blog for major therapy and I will need endless empathy and commiserations from you, so I might as well give you the background now.

Today I am posting my passport off to Immigration by special recorded delivery. The fact that I am being forcibly separated from my passport is enough to induce heart palpitations and an unattractive line of sweat across my upper lip.

The reason for this dates back to this post, which explains how my passport got stolen just before my trip to Cape Town. It's amazing how one small event can trigger a chain reaction that is still in effect so many months later, and which shows no sign of halting anytime soon.

I still do not have a valid visa in my current passport. I have no visa at all actually, just an entry stamp that I was given when I smiled nicely at the border guys on my re-entry into London (ok, I'm simplifying matters a little). This means that as it stands, I can't travel. I need to get my visa restamped in my passport before our trip to Portugal and Spain in August. Right, so no big deal. Or so you'd think.

However, things with me are never that straighforward. I have two options to get the kind of visa I need: the first is posting my application along with my passport to Immigration at a cost of £160 and waiting 4 - 14 weeks for it to be processed; the second is making an appointment to go in and see them personally at a cost of £500 and obtaining my visa within 24 hours. If this was the only visa I needed to get this year, I would bite the bullet and pay the £500, thereby staying secure in the fact that my passport would not leave my side and that I'd get my visa on the same day.

But it isn't the only visa I have to get. In a cruel twist of fate, this visa for which I must now apply expires in August 2008. Upon it's expiry, I have to apply for my Unmarried Partner Visa - Indefinite Leave to Remain. To make things more difficult, I can only apply for this new visa 28 days before the expiry of my old visa. I also cannot apply for the new visa unless the old visa is endorsed in my passport.

In layman's terms, it means that Immigration is shafting me for £160 for a visa that I will have for only 2 weeks before it expires and I have to cough up another £500 for the new visa, as a postal application for the second visa would take too long and I wouldn't be able to on holiday. It also means that until all this visa shit is sorted, I can't even apply for the Schengen visa that I need to travel to Portugal and Spain.

With the timing of our trip and my horrendous luck in all matters passport related, the worst case scenario I am looking at is forked: My first visa application may be delayed for unknown reasons, and I will miss my window of opportunity for the new visa. If this happens, it's tough shit, see you later - they will not accept my application for renewal, and I will have to go home - as in leave London forever. The other possibility is that I get both my UK visas sorted, but can't get an appointment for my Schengen visa within the tight time frame I will be left with, which means I can stay in London but can't travel.

So why didn't I check this out earlier, you ask? I did, and was told I could probably just apply for the new visa in July, and not have to get my stolen one reissued. So imagine my dismay when I phoned last week to make an appointment for the new visa, explained my situation and was told there is a good chance that my application will be denied unless I have a valid visa endorsed in my passport.

Confused yet? I don't blame you - I am living this nightmare and I'M confused! All you really need to know is, either I come out of this with all my paperwork in order and a wonderful holiday under my belt... or I am royally fucked. Please cross fingers it is the former. I will as always keep you updated.

A Portuguesa!

NEUTRINO FOUND HIS PASSPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, to be exact, it got handed in to his local police station and when he made his daily call yesterday they told him it was waiting for him to collect. So, WE'RE ALL GOING TO PORTUGAL IN 3 DAYS! Sorry, I'll stop shouting now, but the situation does call for just a bit of enthusiasm. Now I am officially excited. All of us have been a bit down about the whole thing lately, and we were struggling to muster up some measure of eagerness. Now we can think of nothing else! :-)

No really, I can't think of anything else at all, not even anything further to write here. This is partly because we had a fairly tame weekend, and partly because I am imagining basking in the sun beside the river, trance music pumping in the background, vodka cocktail in hand....

Ok, erm, maybe I should stop right here. Instead of daydreaming all over my blog, I will save the post for the real stories, of which there will be many to recount. I'll take you through it, you'll feel like you were there. Something to look forward to. Right, back to those vodka cocktails then.....

Final Countdown

So, Neutrino, Scarf and I have exhausted all options, and it's a no go - unless someone hands in his passport and it gets returned to him by next Thursday, he will not be coming to Portugal with us. The Schengen Office can't get him a visa - again, not enough time. He can't travel on his drivers - we knew that anyway, but desperate times, you know? His fate lies entirely in someone else's hands, assuming someone has actually picked up the passport, and it hasn't somehow got swept up with some rubbish and landed in a bin somewhere. Also, not nearly as bad but still crap, the letter of verification I requested for Shoes to confirm he has held his license for more than 2 years is only getting posted out on Monday, so won't arrive in time to take with us. Therefore he can't drive in Portugal. All we need now is to get there and for some reason the car rental place refuses Eyes' SA license, even though they have confirmed in writing twice that they will rent him the car. With this trip, nothing is certain and nothing can be taken for granted.

I am crushed for Neutrino - having been the one left behind last time, I would wish death on my worst enemy over that. Scarf and I have agreed to remain hopeful, and not accept that he is not coming until the last minute. This trip has been so fraught with difficulty up til now, but somehow we have pushed through and overcome the obstacles. We're still going despite all the odds stacked against us, and we're viewing this as just one more irritating odd that needs to be knocked back. Granted, this is way bigger than all our other probelms put together - at least there's been a way around the rest. And until this moment we've been able to exhaust our energies looking for answers. Now, we have to rely completely on fate. Just like Turkey... except that for me with Turkey, there was no way out. For Neutrino, there still is - not a chance I'd put money on, but there's still a chance. And then, after Italy, I am staying put in London until next year January when we go to Cape Town - you couldn't pay me to move my ass across the borders of the UK for a million pounds!

Unbelievable....

This is just a short post again, as I am no doubt going to be updating quite regularly today as we monitor Neutrino's passport situation. He went of to the Italian embassy this morning to try and arrange for an emergency / temporary passport, and they told him there is nothing they can do for him as it is too short notice. I am having Turkey deja-vu visions all over again, except that as flabbergasted and crushed as I am, I am so frikkin' glad it's not me - does that make me a terrible person? Watch, just for saying that our visas are going to get denied - we're due a phone call from the Schengen Office today to tell us to come fetch our passports.

The next step is to try and get him a schengen visa on his South African passport. We have one week to do this, so he's going to phone the Schengen Office this morning when they open and see if they can do it. Obviously he stands no chance in trying to go to the embassy directly.

One of my colleagues thinks it might be possible for him to travel on his driving license, since EU citizens need only a form of photo ID. I have to say, I think this is seriously suspect, but right now we have to explore all our options. I am going to phone the Portuguese Embassy now.

I can't believe this is happening. I am starting to think that maybe we're supposed to die in Portugal, and that all these obstacles are in fact signs from the universe telling us to change our path, to avoid fatal consequences. Imagine we all actually make this trip as planned, only to perish in a car accident - wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake?

There are no words....

Ok, I have to leave in 3 minutes, but I couldn't go without quickly telling you the latest in the Portugal saga.... Neutrino lost his passport this morning! I mean, like, totally lost it - it was in his hands as he walked through a shopping centre and when he came out it was no longer there. Can you fucking believe.....

Don't even ask why he was carrying it through the shops, there's no point. He's going to the Italian embassy tomorrow to see if there's anything he can do. Right now I am throwing up my hands in complete disbelief.

Nuff said.