Second Time Around

As I am paranoid about anything relating to me and travelling and visas, I have second guessed my decision to write this post. I am unnaturally superstitious about giving voice to the worst case scenario in case it comes true (see the list of posts on the RHS of this page if you don't know what I am talking about). However, if the worst case scenario does indeed come to pass, I am going to need to use this blog for major therapy and I will need endless empathy and commiserations from you, so I might as well give you the background now.

Today I am posting my passport off to Immigration by special recorded delivery. The fact that I am being forcibly separated from my passport is enough to induce heart palpitations and an unattractive line of sweat across my upper lip.

The reason for this dates back to this post, which explains how my passport got stolen just before my trip to Cape Town. It's amazing how one small event can trigger a chain reaction that is still in effect so many months later, and which shows no sign of halting anytime soon.

I still do not have a valid visa in my current passport. I have no visa at all actually, just an entry stamp that I was given when I smiled nicely at the border guys on my re-entry into London (ok, I'm simplifying matters a little). This means that as it stands, I can't travel. I need to get my visa restamped in my passport before our trip to Portugal and Spain in August. Right, so no big deal. Or so you'd think.

However, things with me are never that straighforward. I have two options to get the kind of visa I need: the first is posting my application along with my passport to Immigration at a cost of £160 and waiting 4 - 14 weeks for it to be processed; the second is making an appointment to go in and see them personally at a cost of £500 and obtaining my visa within 24 hours. If this was the only visa I needed to get this year, I would bite the bullet and pay the £500, thereby staying secure in the fact that my passport would not leave my side and that I'd get my visa on the same day.

But it isn't the only visa I have to get. In a cruel twist of fate, this visa for which I must now apply expires in August 2008. Upon it's expiry, I have to apply for my Unmarried Partner Visa - Indefinite Leave to Remain. To make things more difficult, I can only apply for this new visa 28 days before the expiry of my old visa. I also cannot apply for the new visa unless the old visa is endorsed in my passport.

In layman's terms, it means that Immigration is shafting me for £160 for a visa that I will have for only 2 weeks before it expires and I have to cough up another £500 for the new visa, as a postal application for the second visa would take too long and I wouldn't be able to on holiday. It also means that until all this visa shit is sorted, I can't even apply for the Schengen visa that I need to travel to Portugal and Spain.

With the timing of our trip and my horrendous luck in all matters passport related, the worst case scenario I am looking at is forked: My first visa application may be delayed for unknown reasons, and I will miss my window of opportunity for the new visa. If this happens, it's tough shit, see you later - they will not accept my application for renewal, and I will have to go home - as in leave London forever. The other possibility is that I get both my UK visas sorted, but can't get an appointment for my Schengen visa within the tight time frame I will be left with, which means I can stay in London but can't travel.

So why didn't I check this out earlier, you ask? I did, and was told I could probably just apply for the new visa in July, and not have to get my stolen one reissued. So imagine my dismay when I phoned last week to make an appointment for the new visa, explained my situation and was told there is a good chance that my application will be denied unless I have a valid visa endorsed in my passport.

Confused yet? I don't blame you - I am living this nightmare and I'M confused! All you really need to know is, either I come out of this with all my paperwork in order and a wonderful holiday under my belt... or I am royally fucked. Please cross fingers it is the former. I will as always keep you updated.