The Hamster on the Wheel Goes Round and Round

There were many New Year's Resolutions in my spinning class last night. You could spot them a mile away - baggy t-shirts down to their knees, faces an attractive shade of puce and all of them emitting a distinct lack of sound apart from breath ripping painfully from dry throats (noticeable as this particular class is quite vocal and tends to heckle the poor instructor when she bullies us into pedalling for one more song).

If I were starting a new exercise regime in preparation to unleash the new me on the world, I so would not start with a spinning class. It is torture in its cruelest form; a dead end experience that literally leaves you going nowhere, no matter how much your instructor encourages you to "Go, go, go, you're nearly there!" Nearly where? I'm on a bloody stationary bike, for Pete's sake! I've got more chance of getting somewhere if I simply pushed off the pedals and launched myself into the atomsphere. The road less travelled? Try the road NEVER travelled. Not only that, but pedalling like a maniac while staring at the unmoving wall / giant behind in front of you is demotivating at best, and strangely reminiscent of a hamster in a wheel at worst. This is just not a description that should apply to intelligent people.

As much as I hold this class in the lowest possible regard, I find myself going back for more every Monday. As disciplined as I am about my gym routine, I have a tendency to do my work out at 50% capacity when tired (often), and then tell myself I've done my bit and can therefore take the next few days off / snack my way through the week / have a whole (extra large) slab of chocolate after dinner. Spinning is the one class where I am pushed to my limits each time, and no matter how much I hate it and swear never to go again (usually about 15 minutes into the 45 minute torture programme), I always do. So hats off to the brave NYR's who attack their goals with gusto and make spinning their first port of call. No matter that over half will bail by the end of January. It is the blind enthusiasm and dogged determination of the freshly motivated that counts. It's a good thing I'm not an instructor - I'd have the class breaking for energade and power bars every 10 minutes.

New Year's Resolutions

You gotta love them. Not only do we have to deal with the inevitable January depression caused by back to work blues and the anxiety of facing yet another year of aging, but those pesky resolutions - usually made when inebriated and convinced one can do anything - come back to haunt you as January rolls on and you break one after the other.

Here's how mine have gone so far:

New Year's Resolution 1: To go on a month's detox. This involves not drinking or eating junk food for the month of January.

January 1st - at home.

3pm - So far so good. Recovering from NYE party, although, somewhat mysteriously, hangover has not yet hit. Still waiting. Am going to have tuna with brown rice for supper.

6pm - Making tuna and rice. Shoes and Miss M pop out to get KFC.

6:15pm - Cracked. Am sharing Shoes' chips. Oh well, at least no drinking.

January 2nd - at private screening of Nicole Kidman's new movie, Australia.

7pm - Walk into screening area with Scarf, determined not to drink complimentary Jacob's Creek wine.

7:03pm - Cracked. Took glass from smiling hostess without blinking eye.

7:35pm - Accepted top up. Dammit. Try again from tomorrow.

January 3rd, at home with Shoes and Miss M.

6pm - Shoes grumpy. Says life is no fun without alcohol. Is going to open bottle of wine. Miss M concurs. Hold out for about 5 seconds....

6pm & 5 seconds - Cracked. Had glass. Then top up. Need AA.

New Year's Resolution 2: To write stuff every month (book, articles, essays - not sure yet, but writing must be done).

January 5th - at work.

11:30am - So far so good, am writing blog post. Cheating? Ok yes, but still have 26 days to go. Still holding out hope for this one.

New Year's Resolution 3: To not shop at all for month of January, and to only buy one very small thing per month for rest of year.

January 2nd - on ebay.

1pm - Bid on book, Is Harry On The Boat? Oops. But maybe will get outbid.

5pm - Win book. Ok, bad, but it's only £2.45 including postage. No more books.

January 3rd - on amazon.

6pm - Buy first book in Conn Igguldsen's Emporer series. Really, really want to own series. Only £3 per book. NOT POINT!!!! Must stop shopping!!!! Must prove it can be done. Feck. Ok, start again from Monday.

6:15pm - Have cracked already, might as well make use of guilty time left. Buy second Emporer book. NO MORE!

January 5th - So far so good. Must hang in there - first week is hardest. Cravings will subside soon. Be strong. January Sales.....NO! Stay in office on lunch. Read about poor people who have nothing. Think beyond shallow self. Can do it. Will do it.....Physically knotting hands together to prevent self from opening ebay window. Not great start. ;-P