Tuesday 6 January 2009

The Hamster on the Wheel Goes Round and Round

There were many New Year's Resolutions in my spinning class last night. You could spot them a mile away - baggy t-shirts down to their knees, faces an attractive shade of puce and all of them emitting a distinct lack of sound apart from breath ripping painfully from dry throats (noticeable as this particular class is quite vocal and tends to heckle the poor instructor when she bullies us into pedalling for one more song).

If I were starting a new exercise regime in preparation to unleash the new me on the world, I so would not start with a spinning class. It is torture in its cruelest form; a dead end experience that literally leaves you going nowhere, no matter how much your instructor encourages you to "Go, go, go, you're nearly there!" Nearly where? I'm on a bloody stationary bike, for Pete's sake! I've got more chance of getting somewhere if I simply pushed off the pedals and launched myself into the atomsphere. The road less travelled? Try the road NEVER travelled. Not only that, but pedalling like a maniac while staring at the unmoving wall / giant behind in front of you is demotivating at best, and strangely reminiscent of a hamster in a wheel at worst. This is just not a description that should apply to intelligent people.

As much as I hold this class in the lowest possible regard, I find myself going back for more every Monday. As disciplined as I am about my gym routine, I have a tendency to do my work out at 50% capacity when tired (often), and then tell myself I've done my bit and can therefore take the next few days off / snack my way through the week / have a whole (extra large) slab of chocolate after dinner. Spinning is the one class where I am pushed to my limits each time, and no matter how much I hate it and swear never to go again (usually about 15 minutes into the 45 minute torture programme), I always do. So hats off to the brave NYR's who attack their goals with gusto and make spinning their first port of call. No matter that over half will bail by the end of January. It is the blind enthusiasm and dogged determination of the freshly motivated that counts. It's a good thing I'm not an instructor - I'd have the class breaking for energade and power bars every 10 minutes.

3 comments:

The Divine Miss M said...

Brilliant description Lopz, you've just made me giggle hysterically at work ;)

I do find Spinning the most pointless form of exercise ever. I went to one session and wanted to punch the instructor after about 10 seconds. Seriously. What. A. Fucking. Pain. In. The. Arse.

COME ON, YOU'RE ALMOST THERE, JUST PUSH UP THAT HILL A BIT MORE, YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!

What hill? Where? Seriously now.

Grrrr.

po said...

I love your description of launching into space. How cool would it be if you got really tired there was a lever you could pull that would just shoot you home?

Lopz said...

Luckily for me, the gym is literally 20 seconds from my front door, so I can actually almost leap from one building to the other!