Baubles, Bangles And Beads

What a truly satisfying weekend. Well, I'm actually only talking about Saturday, but Saturday was my weekend, as it was so good the rest pales in comparison.

On Saturday The ArtyOne and I went to Clothes Show Live 2007 in Birmingham. To the uneducated (as I was until not too long ago), Clothes Show Live is the "largest fashion and beauty event in the world" according to NEC, the exhibition site that plays host to the extravaganza. 6 days, 7 fashion zones, 20 halls, 40 models and dancers, 450 fashion, hair and beauty companies and a sprinkling of celebrities all under one roof.... if women had wet dreams, this would be their inspiration.

The ArtyOne and I had free tickets, as third musketeer BlueEyes works on the show. Or maybe "works on the show" is a bit of an understatement - she is one of the elite handful who basically own the show. She is the show. Or at least, she was until Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives showed up.... then she was calling for a show(ing) along with the rest of the crowd.

Being a Very Important Person herself, she got us VIP tickets which had us sitting 5th row from the front for the 12:30pm catwalk show. Hunky Jesse introduced the event, and the rather young and almost entirely female crowd went apeshit (the weekend is pretty teenybopper, since they're at school on the other days). The ArtyOne and I were not that impressed.... I mean, yes, he's cute, but in a Hollywood, perfectly proportioned kind of way, and we both prefer out men a little messy and, well.... manly. Jesse is the fairytale Prince Charming - I prefer the Camel Guy. The Sugababes were next up, performing their latest single About You Now. I like some of the Sugababes music, but it's not going to get me jumping out of my chair or anything. Then the fashion show started, and gorgeous models interspersed with the best looking dancers on the face of the planet shimmied and boogied their way up and down the catwalk to everything from Britney Spears to Linkin Park. It was when the male dancers came out wearing jeans, leather jackets and nothing else that even I finally lost my cool. And then to make our already salivating lips smack even harder, they took off the jackets, did a spot of breakdancing and threw themselves into suggestive poses right on the front of the stage, just a few metres from where we were sitting. Two steps forward and I would have been tracing those those rock hard obliques with my fingertip. Mmmm. Very fine specimens.

After the excitement of the show, 3,000 very flushed women and girls made their way out of the theatre and hit the shopping halls to do some serious damage to their credit cards. In sticking with the imagery, the wealth of the shopping population started out at the level of the USA, and in less than half a day spiralled down to that of Ethiopia. 5 and a half hours straight, no eating, no drinking and no toilet breaks - we were on a mission. We descended on the hundreds of stalls touting clothing, make-up, accessories, make-overs and style sessions, spray-tans, workshops and wellbeing treatments of every conceivable sort. We bought goodie bags of make-up and beauty products for £10, when the contents were worth £40. We paid £2 for a beauty magazine complete with a skincare kit in miniatures. Gorgeous winter coats were flying off hangers at £15 a pop, and fashion items in styles to suit everyone on the planet were practically being given away for £5 or £10 a piece. Our arms were loaded down with bags to rival those under Amy Winehouse's eyes, but we felt no pain and no fatigue - we were invincible. We were like the Spartans in 300 - just a few souls with so very much to conquer, but our hearts were strong and our wallets generous; and when they stopped spewing out our life savings in cash, our plastic virtually melted in the team effort card swipes to keep the shopping spirit alive.

£90 later (and this was after having a budget of £20), I walked out of there with over £250 worth of clothing and beauty products. There are no words than can quite describe the satisfaction. Even better, when I told Shoes about my fantastic day, even he agreed it was an opportunity too good to pass up. Of course, he thinks I only spent £50..... lying by omission is sometimes the glue that keeps a relationship strong. ;-)