Smells Like Just Spirit

I am so hungover today that even typing makes me feel sick. It's a Level 10 at the least, more likely an uncharted Level 12. I am so nauseous I can't drink anything - helpful, really, when you know the one thing that will make your body feel better is water - and eating was out of the question for most of the morning. I sat with an opened bag of crisps on my desk for an hour, desperately wanting to eat them but unable to suppress the nausea for long enough to swallow. You know it's a shocker when you can't eat; usually a plate full of the greasiest food imaginable solves all your problems.

So to what do we owe my sorry state of being? Our team Christmas party last night at Smollensky's. It was a good night, what I remember of it. It wasn't THAT bad... ok, it was, but I do remember more or less how everything went down. The part I'm a bit hazy on is where we went after dinner, what time we stayed there til and what time I got home. Oh yes, and who was there. Ok, quite bad then. At least I got a cab home, and somehow managed to pay for nothing the entire night again, including the cab. Damn, I'm good!

I was crapped on from a dizzy height by Shoes this morning though, as apparently I caused havoc on my arrival home. I do remember hiccupping a lot, but I don't remember it going on for half an hour (it did) and being so loud that Shoes could hear it through the wall when he had finally given up trying to sleep in the same bed as me and had removed himself to the lounge (it was). I also "stank like a brewery" (payback's a bitch then) and "snored like a chainsaw (again, hello pot I'm kettle). He shouted and slammed things a lot this morning, and then phoned to apologise once we'd both finally gotten ourselves to work. He says he was just worried about me coming home by myself in such a state... I told him to try saying so next time.

I have just finished my first bottle of water for the day - a whole 750ml. I can hear all the little cells in my body crying out in thirst, but tough shit, they'll have to make like an Arab in a desert for today and survive. Maybe they can nick some from my eyes, which won't stop watering as the eyeballs are practically buried under a layer of grime. Seriously, they're so dirty I can't see properly through my contacts, even though I have taken them out and cleaned them no less than 7 times today (my contacts, not my eyeballs obviously). And no, the dirt's not on the lenses, I did check that. How does one get one's eyeballs dirty? They should set up a research facility to study this. It's bizarre.