Dear 13 Year Old Self
There's a trend in the blogging world at the moment to write a letter to yourself at age 13, so I thought I'd give it a go, since you know how much we love to write letters. Don't worry if you don't understand the word 'blogging' - it hasn't been coined where you are yet. You'll come to understand it later though. For now, just know it has something to do with our passion for writing, which is one of the reasons we decide to start one. You'll be glad to know we don't lose our love of writing, but we don't end up becoming a journalist like you think we will.
And listen up chick, I know you're still playing those sneaky games of Barbie with our childhood best friend Elke, so take my advice when I tell you it has to stop! You're too old for that now. But you're still wonderfully innocent, and you'll be glad to know you stay that way for a while yet. I think I've caught you just as Elke is about to move to America for good. I know you're heartbroken, and I know you feel like you will never find another friend like her. But I want you to dry your eyes, because we do find another friend to share everything with. Her name is Schmokkle, and she'll grow into the best friend we could ever hope to have. I know you've known her since you were 5 and you've always thought she was retarded, but that's only because she speaks German. Speaking another language does not make you retarded! What are you like, girl?
In about a year you're going to go on your first date. His name is Michael and he's a real gentleman, but don't be upset when he doesn't kiss you goodnight. He's even more scared than you are. After things don't go anywhere with Michael, you're going to start going to a few house parties. This is when you experiment with alcohol for the first time, and you have your first kiss. You don't get drunk - in fact, you'll be one of the few in your group who doesn't. You'll find you know how to stand up for yourself, so don't worry about the dreaded peer pressure: you're strong even at such a young age. When you get together with High School Obsession, you're going to think he's the only guy you'll ever love. Don't get mad at me ok, but you don't actually love him. You only think you do. Real love comes much later.
You're going to go on a church camp when you're 15, and you're going to come back with the conviction that the things you've been doing are wrong, and the friends you've been hanging around with are a bad influence. You're going to go and see your friends and tell them you can't hang out with them anymore. Don't ask me now if this is the right thing to do, because I'll say no, but you won't believe me. You're going to believe without a shadow of a doubt that you're doing what God wants you to do, and it's going to cause you so much pain. I wish I could forewarn you about how cruel kids can be towards things they don't understand, and I wish I could stop you from doing it to save yourself the anguish, but I know you won't be deterred. You're young but you're stubborn and you stand up for what you believe in. I admire that in you. Don't worry, even though things get shaky sometimes in the coming years, we never lose that quality.
As a result of this camp and your actions, you're going to lose all your friends for a while, even Schmokkle. It's going to take years before you all grow up enough to get some perspective about the situation, but I can promise you that eventually we do. Don't be too angry at Schmokkle when she turns against you - in her view you turned against her first. Just know that your friendship is strong enough to survive anything, and it does, even when it is sorely tested in later years.
While we're on the subject, I admire your convictions and your sense of truth, but the way you see the world is very simplistic. You see things only in black and white right now, and when you grow up you'll find the world is really coloured in shades of grey. Try to put yourself in other people's shoes a bit more. You'll find we become very good at that later on in life, but it would make things easier for you to understand if you could start now. You'd do well to remember that faith is about love and tolerance as much as it is about truth. Don't separate the two.
When you're 17, you're going to meet a guy who will take your virginity and your innocence in one fell swoop. I wish I could tell you to stay away from him, that he's going to turn your life upside down and destroy the very fabric of who you are. Mom and Dad and all your friends and family are going to warn you about him, but you're not going to listen. I wish there was some way I could protect you from what's going to happen to you, but there isn't anything anyone can do - you'll make a terrible mistake by getting involved with him and it's going to take you nearly three years to get out. When you finally do get out of the relationship, you're going to look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back at you. Don't be afraid. You'll find out who that person is eventually, and you'll be so proud of who we become. Lean on your true friends. Trust your family. They will be the anchors that get you through this storm. Remember that it is our ability to overcome the trials on our lives that define us, not the trials themselves. He will not define who you are - only you will do that.
Be kind to your little sister. You don't know it now, but she is going to become one of the most important people in your life when you get older, and you're going to develop a bond the kind of which you can't even conceive right now. I know you think she's young and silly, but she's going to teach you so much about yourself, and you'll grow to need her as much as she needs you.
Don't be too hard on your parents. You're going to get so angry with them when you find out they aren't perfect, that they're people too and they make mistakes. Try to understand that they always have your best interests at heart, even when they do things that may seem to indicate the opposite. Always keep the lines of communication open. If you do that, you'll grow up to know the joy of being not only their cherished daughter, but one of their closest friends. I know you think that sounds crazy now, but you'd be shocked to learn how much we like hanging out with them later in life. Yes, we really hang out with them! Forgive them their mistakes. Take note of how many times over the next ten years they will have to forgive you.
When you're older and you meet a boy called Shoes, know that something very special is about to happen to you. You'll finally find out what true love really is. Don't ever take that for granted. Know that every second you spend with him is a treasure, and should be treated as such. Learn the differences between men and women. Don't expect him to understand you completely, just be grateful that he loves you enough to keep on trying. Have fun together. Remember to laugh. Don't be so serious all the time. You're young and you have the world at your feet. Know that you can do anything, be anything. You're going to get to a point one day when you no longer believe that, but you should. You should always believe in your dreams, even when they seem impossible.
If I could give you one piece of advice to keep with you through your teenage years, it would be to always focus on the good things in your life. You have so much to be thankful for. Don't ever forget to take a moment each day to appreciate that.
Love Your 27 Year Old Self
P.S. 27 is not old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S.S. Never ever drink kahlua and milk, it will make you REALLY sick.
There's a trend in the blogging world at the moment to write a letter to yourself at age 13, so I thought I'd give it a go, since you know how much we love to write letters. Don't worry if you don't understand the word 'blogging' - it hasn't been coined where you are yet. You'll come to understand it later though. For now, just know it has something to do with our passion for writing, which is one of the reasons we decide to start one. You'll be glad to know we don't lose our love of writing, but we don't end up becoming a journalist like you think we will.
And listen up chick, I know you're still playing those sneaky games of Barbie with our childhood best friend Elke, so take my advice when I tell you it has to stop! You're too old for that now. But you're still wonderfully innocent, and you'll be glad to know you stay that way for a while yet. I think I've caught you just as Elke is about to move to America for good. I know you're heartbroken, and I know you feel like you will never find another friend like her. But I want you to dry your eyes, because we do find another friend to share everything with. Her name is Schmokkle, and she'll grow into the best friend we could ever hope to have. I know you've known her since you were 5 and you've always thought she was retarded, but that's only because she speaks German. Speaking another language does not make you retarded! What are you like, girl?
In about a year you're going to go on your first date. His name is Michael and he's a real gentleman, but don't be upset when he doesn't kiss you goodnight. He's even more scared than you are. After things don't go anywhere with Michael, you're going to start going to a few house parties. This is when you experiment with alcohol for the first time, and you have your first kiss. You don't get drunk - in fact, you'll be one of the few in your group who doesn't. You'll find you know how to stand up for yourself, so don't worry about the dreaded peer pressure: you're strong even at such a young age. When you get together with High School Obsession, you're going to think he's the only guy you'll ever love. Don't get mad at me ok, but you don't actually love him. You only think you do. Real love comes much later.
You're going to go on a church camp when you're 15, and you're going to come back with the conviction that the things you've been doing are wrong, and the friends you've been hanging around with are a bad influence. You're going to go and see your friends and tell them you can't hang out with them anymore. Don't ask me now if this is the right thing to do, because I'll say no, but you won't believe me. You're going to believe without a shadow of a doubt that you're doing what God wants you to do, and it's going to cause you so much pain. I wish I could forewarn you about how cruel kids can be towards things they don't understand, and I wish I could stop you from doing it to save yourself the anguish, but I know you won't be deterred. You're young but you're stubborn and you stand up for what you believe in. I admire that in you. Don't worry, even though things get shaky sometimes in the coming years, we never lose that quality.
As a result of this camp and your actions, you're going to lose all your friends for a while, even Schmokkle. It's going to take years before you all grow up enough to get some perspective about the situation, but I can promise you that eventually we do. Don't be too angry at Schmokkle when she turns against you - in her view you turned against her first. Just know that your friendship is strong enough to survive anything, and it does, even when it is sorely tested in later years.
While we're on the subject, I admire your convictions and your sense of truth, but the way you see the world is very simplistic. You see things only in black and white right now, and when you grow up you'll find the world is really coloured in shades of grey. Try to put yourself in other people's shoes a bit more. You'll find we become very good at that later on in life, but it would make things easier for you to understand if you could start now. You'd do well to remember that faith is about love and tolerance as much as it is about truth. Don't separate the two.
When you're 17, you're going to meet a guy who will take your virginity and your innocence in one fell swoop. I wish I could tell you to stay away from him, that he's going to turn your life upside down and destroy the very fabric of who you are. Mom and Dad and all your friends and family are going to warn you about him, but you're not going to listen. I wish there was some way I could protect you from what's going to happen to you, but there isn't anything anyone can do - you'll make a terrible mistake by getting involved with him and it's going to take you nearly three years to get out. When you finally do get out of the relationship, you're going to look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back at you. Don't be afraid. You'll find out who that person is eventually, and you'll be so proud of who we become. Lean on your true friends. Trust your family. They will be the anchors that get you through this storm. Remember that it is our ability to overcome the trials on our lives that define us, not the trials themselves. He will not define who you are - only you will do that.
Be kind to your little sister. You don't know it now, but she is going to become one of the most important people in your life when you get older, and you're going to develop a bond the kind of which you can't even conceive right now. I know you think she's young and silly, but she's going to teach you so much about yourself, and you'll grow to need her as much as she needs you.
Don't be too hard on your parents. You're going to get so angry with them when you find out they aren't perfect, that they're people too and they make mistakes. Try to understand that they always have your best interests at heart, even when they do things that may seem to indicate the opposite. Always keep the lines of communication open. If you do that, you'll grow up to know the joy of being not only their cherished daughter, but one of their closest friends. I know you think that sounds crazy now, but you'd be shocked to learn how much we like hanging out with them later in life. Yes, we really hang out with them! Forgive them their mistakes. Take note of how many times over the next ten years they will have to forgive you.
When you're older and you meet a boy called Shoes, know that something very special is about to happen to you. You'll finally find out what true love really is. Don't ever take that for granted. Know that every second you spend with him is a treasure, and should be treated as such. Learn the differences between men and women. Don't expect him to understand you completely, just be grateful that he loves you enough to keep on trying. Have fun together. Remember to laugh. Don't be so serious all the time. You're young and you have the world at your feet. Know that you can do anything, be anything. You're going to get to a point one day when you no longer believe that, but you should. You should always believe in your dreams, even when they seem impossible.
If I could give you one piece of advice to keep with you through your teenage years, it would be to always focus on the good things in your life. You have so much to be thankful for. Don't ever forget to take a moment each day to appreciate that.
Love Your 27 Year Old Self
P.S. 27 is not old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S.S. Never ever drink kahlua and milk, it will make you REALLY sick.
5 comments:
Dude, is High School Obsession the same as The Queen of Melodrama? ;)
Cape Town is fantastic, loving and eating way too much food! Looking forward to having those drinks when I get home!
One and the same! How cute for me and Phillygirl hey!
So jealous right now girl, I could hit you! Since you're not here though, I'll just ask if you've by any chance run into the German?
PS *snicker snicker*
hey lopz, must admit i got a little choked up!
don't stop blogging love getting daily life instalments in my email inbox!
looking forward to seeing you soon! xx
Aaaah, thanks babe! I promise I won't - who would listen to my incessant rambling if I stopped blogging?
Only a month to go, can't wait to see you! xxx
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