Wednesday 5 December 2007

God Rest Ye (very) Merry Gentlemen

Top 10 Most Outstanding Moments at our Christmas Party:

1) Being greeted with free champagne on arrival, and the ensuing free-for-all mosh pit at the bar as people dived in to get the coveted - and limited - second glass.

2) Lunch being served an hour late, and the kitchen running out of turkey, causing a half hour delay while they defrosted some more. This was followed by same kitchen then ingeniously running out of strawberry roulade, causing an uprising as the peasants revolted and hurled abuse at the waiters, who hurled far more colourful abuse back (I'm hoping our reaction was reflected in their tip).

3) Drinking for free all night, after finding myself sitting next to Farhana at lunch and discovering she doesn't drink, and filching her tokens off her.

4) The "surprise entertainment" - salsa dancing lessons on a dancefloor the size of a postage stamp. Reminded me very much of that scene in Dirty Dancing where the guests are learning the side to side bunny hop. Unecessary and deliberately painful.

5) The Company's Got Talent - the shit PA system meant you couldn't hear the lyrics, the horseshoe shaped bar meant that only the 30 people gathered in the front could actually see anything, and sure enough, a group of semi-drunk girls thought it would be cool to get their karaoke on to Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. Well done guys, this was clearly a roaring success.

6) Finding out a rather scandalous bit of office gossip about who's shagging who..... my lips are supposed to be sealed, but I may have to drop a hint to the person in question, it's just so good.

7) Finally revealing my tattoo to those in my team who've heard of it but never seen it (before you get any dirty ideas, it's across my lower back). Many compliments followed.

8) Spending the rest of the night running away from one particularly over-enthusiastic middle-aged male fan of my tattoo who decided it would be fun to a) try and touch it (read: major grope) whenever I walked past and b) look for other possible hidden tattoos on the rest of my body. There's always one.

9) Dancing. First with a group of people, then on my own when said group disappeared, then doing the tango (or trying to) with DB, the company's own perpetually pissed Don Juan.

10) Leaving with two of the guys on my team, and having everyone ask what time I kicked them out this morning. Juicier than the reality, which was a rather grumpy boyfriend shattered from a night of no sleep due to my excessive drunken snoring. Payback's a bitch!

3 comments:

Jam said...

Fantastic - glad to hear the tables were turned and the boyf was subjected to the drunken snores!

No karaoke singing of your own Lopz?

Sweets said...

tattoo hey! nothing like a middle aged groping tattoo lover! LOL

Lopz said...

@Miss M - there's another one tomorrow, and I think this one is going to kick ass!

@Ms Mozi - nope, not for me. I prefer to keep my considerable talents to myself ;-)

@Sweetass - I know, so hot hey!