Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Old Before I Die

The green eyed monster from yesterday appears to have gone back into its cave for now. I didn't do anything specific to chase it away, but I'm grateful it's gone for now. It's unbecoming... I'd like to say green isn't really my colour, but unfortunately I look pretty good in it. ;-)

I had a look at myself in the mirror last night, and I can't see any signs of aging yet. My skin doesn't have that youthful glow anymore - although maybe that's just paranoia - but there are no wrinkles and no grey hairs and I'd like to think I don't look my full 27 and half years. Is this what it's going to be like from now on? Will I be constantly on the look out for signs that I'm no longer as young as I feel? Because I still feel 21 inside - I think I stopped "feeling" older after that birthday because the spirit of a 21 year old is worth hanging on to. You're at a stage where the whole world is at your feet and you probably haven't had the chance to be jaded by life yet.

Today I think I'm being more rational about this than yesterday; when I was actually feeling quite panicky in the morning. I know, how pathetic is that. Still, I can't help but wonder how on earth I am going to cope with turning 28, let alone 30 and then 40 if I am having heart palpitations and the urge to maim everyone below the age of 25 now. I have to get used to this. Maybe that's why people have kids, so they can feel vicariously young again. Lucky for me that I want a baby. Perhaps I'll have to have 4 instead of one; everytime one reaches school going age, I'll pop out a new one so I can see the world through another toddler's eyes. Oh crap, this is beyond sad. Somebody save me from myself. What was that about being rational?

2 comments:

Jam said...

Remember how old 27 sounded at the age of 21? And now that it's here (well almost in my case) I'm surprised to find that most of the time I still feel like an 18 year old. That was until my boss noticed that I have a grey patch (note - not a grey hair... a grey patch)

Lopz said...

You're so right, and I really thought I'd have it all together by now *sigh*

Oh well, better to feel 18 and look 50 than to look 18 and feel 50.. right?