Armageddon It

It's like Armageddon pulled into London today and said: You know what, you bloody poms (and all you unfortunate foreigners who are stupid enough to live in pom country); I am Armageddon and YOU are the chosen few who shall first experience the might of my destruction. Mwahahahaha! Beware, you who sleep in your cosy little beds, as I will call up the wind and rattle your windowpanes until you can sleep no more. Watch your step as you descend the stairs onto the rain-slicked sidewalk, as I will pelt you with monstrous rainboulders that will blind your fragile white eyeballs and render your flailing feet unstable. Unfurl your umbrella at your peril, as I will command gusts that will wrench your brolly inside out and tear the material from it's spokes, all the better to poke out your fragile white eyeballs with (I really like hammering your eyeballs, they're so defenseless). Put on your make-up if you must, but know that within seconds I will have the elements claw it from your eyes and smear it across your cheeks.

It really was the pits outside this morning. The bin in front of our station was filled to overflowing with umbrellas in various states of disrepair, and on the train (delayed, obviously) men and women were attempting to undo the vicious damage inflicted by the weather so as not to look like they'd been pulled through a bush backwards. Of course, as I look out the window right now, the sun is streaming innocently across the tops of nearby buildings and the end-of-the-world sky has given way to a tepid grey blanket.

One thing I certainly will not miss when we move is the 15 minute walk to and from our closest station everyday. We live in a modern complex by the Thames, but as it is a private development, there is no public transport. Come rain, shine, snow or hurricane winds, the four of us make our way on foot to catch our train each day, and suffer the consequences of whatever England's weather chooses to throw at us, which over time is pretty much a bit of every imaginable thing.

Today Shoes, Eyes and I are all going to look at a potential place to live after work. Ironically, it is another private development on the Thames, but this time in South West London instead of South East - this is kind of like moving from Woodstock to Kirstenhof. Hopefully this one will be what we're looking for, as we're really keen to move in somewhere by mid-April if possible.