I Will Survive... but will you?

Sometimes the commenting on blogs gets so intense that I spend all my time following the conversations rather than writing my own post. This is one of those days. Also, it's Friday and I don't feel like being serious. I think I'll take Sweets lead and post a Friday funny. This one is for the girls. Enjoy the weekend!

I WILL SURVIVE

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, well I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on....

But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullshït, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans....

Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count,

(Chorus)
I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex given a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive....hey hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me,

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick, dip it in tomato sauce.

(Chorus)

Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
'Cos I know its length is right,
And if I ever again see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.

Go on now, GO!

(Note: As much as I wish I'd written these lyrics myself, sadly that is not true. Credit goes to Anonymous, as found in an e-mail forward.)