In the words of Mel Gibson: Freeeeeeeedom!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I am now officially unemployed! I had such an awesome last day yesterday. I spent most of it e-mailing all my friends and colleagues to say goodbye, and the rest of it deleting all evidence of internet misuse from future prying eyes. I also tried to post, but my pc, which had been in its chops for a good while already, finally refused to co-operate, and I was unable to blog or open any pop-ups (yes, I did turn off my pop-up blocker first!). I could still get into the basic necessities of office life though (Facebook, PerezHilton), so all was not lost. Actually speaking of Perez... I saw an interview with him on TV the other day, and my gut feeling is that I don't like him at all. He just seems incredibly self-satisfied and up his own ass, and although I read his blog everyday, I kind of feel ambivalent about the fact that I am advertising it on my own blog, when he's so slimy. Anyway.... total tangent.

I went out for lunch with my whole team, and everyone made a suitable fuss over me, and gave me flowers and chocolates and a card signed by all my colleagues. I have been feeling thoroughly useless in my job over the last 4 months - having next to nothing to do tends to promote mild depression and feelings of inadequacy. However, when I e-mailed all my customers to say goodbye, they all replied saying how terribly sad they were that I was leaving, and how I've been of invaluable help to them over the last 9 months, and that they couldn't have done it without me. I went in yesterday morning thinking that my contribution to the company, on a grand scale of 1 - 10 ,was about 0.5, and left believing that I am CEO material and that London's who's who will soon be beating down my door in their race to head hunt me. I'm going to bask in my new-found importance for a while - just til I come crashing down to earth after two weeks with no job and no moolah! Amazingly enough, just to further enforce the idea that I am now the indispensible it-girl of London's working world, the weather put on a spectacularly schizophrenic display yesterday, with piercing sunshine followed by flurries of thick snowfall and back to sunshine again. It ws really rather dramatic and what I felt to be a very appropriate send-off. I was trying to post of this as the heaviest snowfall I've ever seen was swirling outside my window, and that's when the my pc put a stop to my ego. Perhaps it has more sense than I do.

Went for an interview with a new agency this morning, and came out feeling very positive (possibly due to still intact CEO-complex). They deal with mostly permanent media and events jobs, and are going to start searching for the right thing for me. In the meantime, I'm waiting to hear about another temp role starting this Friday for a month, just to tide me over while I throw myself into the permanent job search. More on that if I get it....

As of now, I am just hanging out at home in the middle of the week, eating popcorn and watching movies - and feeling very guilty. This guilt part is quite nonsensical, but it goes with the territory of being a temp. As a temp, you don't get paid leave or sick days - you do accrue holidays with your agency, so you can apply for a paid day's holiday, but it takes so many months to ratchet up just a few days that usually if you're sick, you just take the loss of a day's pay. I have taken one day off in nearly a year due to illness - I literally have to be on my death bed (or at least feel like it), else it's not worth losing the money for. So now, because I am off in the middle of the week, I naturally feel like a criminal for not doing my part to bring in every penny possible, for expenses and general mayhem (mayhem costs money, bru). I'm trying to re-educate myself, especially as I have actually put in for 3 days holiday pay to see me through this week, but I still feel terribly lax, as if not working is somehow a reflection on my ability to work.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I am both looking forward to it with great eagerness (presents, lots of fuss, being able to do whatever I want without repercussions, such as go shopping, even though I have been banned from doing so by Shoes) and some trepidation (one year older, one year closer to the big 30, straining to see the faded days of my youth behind me). I am significantly excited about my choice of activity for tomorrow night though: we are going to Wandsworth Spur for supper. I realize that you're supposed to get over going to spur for your birthday when you turn 12, but I'm in London now so it's different, ok!!!! I am salivating at the thought of a cheddamelt burger - I do think I would rather have one of those right now than sex... this is temporary thing only (sorry babe). The world will right itself again after tomorrow night.